PIERRE, SD – As a way to help citizens of South Dakota pass the time while at home self-quarantining or social distancing during the coronavirus outbreak, Gov. Krispie Gnome has created a game individuals and entire families can play each day.
Called, “What’s Under Krispie’s Hat?”, the game utilizes several things the governor has become known for. These include a garden gnome, baseball or trucker’s hat pulled down over her forehead partially covering her eyes; her penchant for secrecy; her lack of knowing what’s going to happen in the future – near and distant; her undying admiration for Donald Trump; and her general lack of concern about the public in general.
“I am just pleased as Everclear punch to introduce this game to distract legislators and the people of our great state for as long as I can,” the governor gushed. “I am certain this is unprecedented in the history of the Rushmore State! Can you imagine Tom Berry or Dick Kneip pulling something like this off? I certainly cannot.”
The governor explained that each day after the end of her daily now-video news conference, a short video will run with Gnome taking off her hat of the day while an announcer with a deep voice saying, “Well, today it looks like what’s under Krispie’s hat is . . . a pair of disposable non-latex gloves!” Or something like that.
“Sometimes it might be a photograph of one of our ever-so-special South Dakota places, like the Governor’s Mansion, my office, our family’s hunting lodge, a casino, the state airplane, or a stock dam,” Gnome said. “And sometimes what’s under my hat will be how I’m going to spend unaccounted for state money. Other times will be the voices and demons that are in my pretty little head.”
People watching the removal of the governor’s lid will be able to go to Gnome’s Facebook page and type in what was revealed for that day. All persons entering with the correct item for the day will have their name placed in another hat. At the end of the week, Gnome or one of her relatives, will draw the winner’s name. Each weekly winner will receive their choice of an autographed photo of Gnome, one free slot machine token to a Deadwood gaming establishment or an unfired shotgun shell (random gauge).
Governor Gnome said she had one or two last things to say before unveiling today’s under-hat bounty.
“I’d just like to say thanks a whole bunch to my dear family and friends in Hamlin County for no reason in particular. And for you viewers out there, let me say, Good luck, wash those hands and head to your local casino!
See you tomorrow boys and girls, when we ask:
“WHAT’S UNDER KRISPIE’S HAT?”