Category: Government

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Government, Health, Humor, Satire, Uncategorized

Pence swings for the fence in effort to combat Coronavirus at source; Orders attack on bats – wooden, aluminum, and plastic

Vice President Mike Pence today announced a new federal health program with a focus on bats, in an effort to get to the origins of the Coronavirus or COVID-19. He said they would first shut down all bat-manufacturing factories in the United States starting with the Louisville Slugger Plant in Louisville, KY. Next up was sealing off the country’s borders to prevent any importing of bats – wooden or aluminum – made outside of the U.S. Continue reading Pence swings for the fence in effort to combat Coronavirus at source; Orders attack on bats – wooden, aluminum, and plastic

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Community, Government, Great Plains, Health, Humor, People, Rural Life, Satire, Small towns, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Governor Appoints Coronavirus Wrangling Posse, South Dakota At ‘Itsy-Bitsy Risk’, She Says

By G. L. Dickson, P & W Health Scout PIERRE, SD – In a response to the burgeoning possibility faced by the state’s executive office and certain legislators as well as key political benefactors of becoming infected with Covid-19 (the Coronavirus), South Dakota Governor Krispie Gnome today announced she has formed a special committee to advise her and her relatives about dealing with the spread … Continue reading Governor Appoints Coronavirus Wrangling Posse, South Dakota At ‘Itsy-Bitsy Risk’, She Says

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Community, Government, Health, Humor, People, Satire, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Governor Aims To Stop Spread of Coronavirus Through Phone Lines, ISPs, and Satellite Signals

“Well, I’m here to tell you, that the buck stops in Kansas, not in South Dakota! So yesterday, or maybe it was the day before . . . anyway, recently I informed my Secretary of Health, Kim Balsam – Rotisserie that we needed to alert all the local health offices about watching for people who’ve contracted the disease through their computers, TV sets, cell phones, land lines, ham radios, and car radios. She’s sending out letters via overnight mail – not using email, of course, ‘cause it might be infected. Continue reading Governor Aims To Stop Spread of Coronavirus Through Phone Lines, ISPs, and Satellite Signals

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Agriculture, Career, Community, Failure, Government, Great Plains, Hopelessness, Humor, People, Rural Life, Satire, Sioux Empire, Sioux Falls, Small towns, South Dakota, Talent

Scram! South Dakota Doesn’t Want You Here

By Gary Dickson P & W Business Editor SIOUX FALLS, SD – South Dakota wants to clarify something when it comes to having people move to our beautiful state. We really don’t want you here. We’re not kidding. Go away. We don’t want former residents who are homesick for the Rushmore State to return. Really, don’t bother. We don’t want you. Especially if you have … Continue reading Scram! South Dakota Doesn’t Want You Here

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Agriculture, Community, Government, Great Plains, Humor, People, Rural Life, Satire, South Dakota

Surrogacy Ban Has Ranchers Twitchy

By Gary Dickson P & W Agribusiness Reporter Many of South Dakota’s livestock producers are displeased about a State House bill that would ban commercial surrogacy agents. Ranchers and farmers with livestock operations are sounding the alarm that the bill would severely limit the practice of artificial insemination of cows, horses, buffalo, sheep, goats, llamas, ostriches, and other hooved and feathered creatures in the Rushmore … Continue reading Surrogacy Ban Has Ranchers Twitchy

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Agriculture, Community, Government, Great Plains, Humor, Rural Life, Satire, Sioux City, Sioux Empire, Sioux Falls, Siouxland, Small towns, South Dakota, Transportation

SD Legislature Considers Closing Interstates 90 and 29 Most of Year

By Gary Dickson PIERRE, SD – A new bill that would close both Interstate-29 and Interstate-90 in South Dakota for 10 months a year was introduced in the state senate today. The purpose of the bill, according to sponsors, is to save the state money and enhance the economic development of those communities that the building of the interstates passed by in the 1960s and … Continue reading SD Legislature Considers Closing Interstates 90 and 29 Most of Year

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