Category: Satire

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Caring, Community, Failure, Government, Great Plains, Health, Hopelessness, Humor, People, Satire, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Lawmakers & Gov Hold Closed Confab On COVID-19 Fears; Get New Biohazard Duds

But perhaps the most shocking action to come out of Wednesday’s meeting was the lawmakers getting their own, custom-designed biohazard coverings. As seen in the photo, the outfits were all quite colorful and included special nose protectors, a heavy colored paint-like substance to cover their faces, and colorful hair, hand, and feet coverings. Continue reading Lawmakers & Gov Hold Closed Confab On COVID-19 Fears; Get New Biohazard Duds

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Government, Health, Humor, Satire, Uncategorized

Pence swings for the fence in effort to combat Coronavirus at source; Orders attack on bats – wooden, aluminum, and plastic

Vice President Mike Pence today announced a new federal health program with a focus on bats, in an effort to get to the origins of the Coronavirus or COVID-19. He said they would first shut down all bat-manufacturing factories in the United States starting with the Louisville Slugger Plant in Louisville, KY. Next up was sealing off the country’s borders to prevent any importing of bats – wooden or aluminum – made outside of the U.S. Continue reading Pence swings for the fence in effort to combat Coronavirus at source; Orders attack on bats – wooden, aluminum, and plastic

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Community, Government, Great Plains, Health, Humor, People, Rural Life, Satire, Small towns, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Governor Appoints Coronavirus Wrangling Posse, South Dakota At ‘Itsy-Bitsy Risk’, She Says

By G. L. Dickson, P & W Health Scout PIERRE, SD – In a response to the burgeoning possibility faced by the state’s executive office and certain legislators as well as key political benefactors of becoming infected with Covid-19 (the Coronavirus), South Dakota Governor Krispie Gnome today announced she has formed a special committee to advise her and her relatives about dealing with the spread … Continue reading Governor Appoints Coronavirus Wrangling Posse, South Dakota At ‘Itsy-Bitsy Risk’, She Says

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Art, Career, Great Plains, History, Humor, Music, People, Perserverence, Satire, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Talent, Uncategorized

Obscure Facts About South Dakota & Thereabouts — [A series]

Myron Floren Was Known As “El Loco With A Squeezebox” When Attending Augustana College You may have known him best from seeing the handsome, wavy-haired man play tunes like “Lady of Spain” and “Beer Barrel Polka” on television’s Lawrence Welk Show. But what you may not have known was that the “Happy Norwegian” as fellow Dakotan Welk dubbed him, had a rowdier side to him … Continue reading Obscure Facts About South Dakota & Thereabouts — [A series]

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Community, Government, Health, Humor, People, Satire, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Governor Aims To Stop Spread of Coronavirus Through Phone Lines, ISPs, and Satellite Signals

“Well, I’m here to tell you, that the buck stops in Kansas, not in South Dakota! So yesterday, or maybe it was the day before . . . anyway, recently I informed my Secretary of Health, Kim Balsam – Rotisserie that we needed to alert all the local health offices about watching for people who’ve contracted the disease through their computers, TV sets, cell phones, land lines, ham radios, and car radios. She’s sending out letters via overnight mail – not using email, of course, ‘cause it might be infected. Continue reading Governor Aims To Stop Spread of Coronavirus Through Phone Lines, ISPs, and Satellite Signals

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Agriculture, Community, Great Plains, History, Humor, Relationships, Rural Life, Satire, South Dakota, Uncategorized

Obscure Facts About South Dakota & Thereabouts: First in a series

First marriage between a man and a sheep – March 24, 1902 A Hollander by the name of Harm Harmelink (top photo, riding horse) and a purebred Ramboulet ewe named Violet (bottom photo) tied the knot in rural northern Butte County. It is said that Mr. Harmelink,46, who was technically an East Friesian, had been distraught the previous fall, as he was the only one … Continue reading Obscure Facts About South Dakota & Thereabouts: First in a series

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Community, Geography, Great Plains, Humor, Iowa, Minnesota, Nebraska, People, Rural Life, Satire, Sioux Empire, Sioux Falls, Small towns, South Dakota

Study Shows Most Sioux Falls Residents Unaware Rest of State Exists

By Gary Dickson Geography Correspondent BROOKINGS, SD – A recent study conducted by a professor from South Dakota State University found that 74 percent of Sioux Falls adults were unaware that South Dakota encompassed anything beyond 25 miles from Sioux Falls’ borders. And, as shocking as these results were, 46 percent of adults 24 and older thought they were a suburb of Minneapolis! The research was … Continue reading Study Shows Most Sioux Falls Residents Unaware Rest of State Exists

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Agriculture, Career, Community, Failure, Government, Great Plains, Hopelessness, Humor, People, Rural Life, Satire, Sioux Empire, Sioux Falls, Small towns, South Dakota, Talent

Scram! South Dakota Doesn’t Want You Here

By Gary Dickson P & W Business Editor SIOUX FALLS, SD – South Dakota wants to clarify something when it comes to having people move to our beautiful state. We really don’t want you here. We’re not kidding. Go away. We don’t want former residents who are homesick for the Rushmore State to return. Really, don’t bother. We don’t want you. Especially if you have … Continue reading Scram! South Dakota Doesn’t Want You Here

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